My "baby" turned 20 this year... We have two older children who have moved out one at a time, but we always had one more to go... He moved out for about 3 months and then decided he wanted to come home and save some money so he has been living here the last few months. There are high points and low points. The high points being when he calls me before midnight to let me know where he is... the low being he leaves messes around the house and does not take reminders to clean them up very willingly, at least not within my expected time frame. Then I get the look of exasperation which says...I'm not a kid anymore, stop treating me like one! It's that kid/grown-up merge that comes to all of us. A time when it seems there are just too many adults in the house...too many bosses. We all want our own way. And then we know the change is just around the corner. They have their own opinions and way of doing things, as it should be. But at first that is a little hard to take. It's a bit like stretching. When you stretch the way you always do, it happens with ease, but when you stretch something new it can be painful. You don't have that freedom of movement you were expecting and yet if you keep working at it eventually you get there. It's the moment when you know your job description as a parent has changed.The fact is that you pray for their salvation and safety when they're young and you are there to guide them along. Then when they're grown you do the same yet there is a new level of adrenaline coursing through your veins. The control factor is missing. Emotions that have come over me have ranged from out and out panic to fear and desperation, to dependence and ultimately surrender to God and you wrap each "kid" in a hug and tell them you love them and will try to support their decisions.
I wonder how our Father (God) must feel about us when we decide we are all grown up and pull away. I believe it is painful for Him too. The difference I see is that He never actually controlled us...we have always had freedom of choice but there is still that separation thing.
Everything eventually comes full circle. This process is really just part of the human condition. I am no different than my kids. I still pull away and I want things done my way...only I should know better cuz I'm REALLY grown up-(I said grown up, not old):)
I thank God for his patience with me and count on the promise that He will fill my cup to overflowing. I pray that as my kids are morphing into who they will become some will still splash out of my cup onto them, those sweet, sassy, kind, compassionate, opinionated, stress inducing wonderful 3 kiddos whom I love with a fierceness unmatched by any other. They are an extension of my husband and me, truly a part of us, walking around making their mark on this world. Why would we think they should be any different? At this point I can only daily give them up to God and hope that they have ears that will hear.
"What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation--a toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God;
I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it together with his people.
When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him.
Oh, God, here I am, your servant, your faithful servant: set me free for your service! I'm ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God. I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it in Jerusalem, God's city.
Hallelujah!" Psalm 116:12-19 The Message Bible
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3 comments:
Our children are grown too. It's been so long that it's hard to remember- We love when they come home and the house is noisy and the grandchildren are laughing and hungry :) They love my Southern Sweet Tea. They also want to create things. At Christmas I bought everything you'd need to decorate sugar cookies and had each family bring a dozen cookies to decorate, eat and take home. (I made sure to let them know they did not have to be home made, no stress, all FUN).
What a great time they had at a special table I set up for them, the big kids helped the little ones. The 2 year old just kept licking all his frosting off and then offering us his "cookie".
It's hard to cut the apron strings, but God's good.
Thanks for the comment on Faith Folk. We just added your link to the site.
Hugs,
Pam
Well. I am nearly speechless, and that is something. This is the best serious post I've read in a while. I can totally relate to every paragraph, and you articulated my feelings so well. I feel like printing this off! I think you are right to make the analogy that you did, and you did it without being preachy, thank you very much. I just read it again, and thought, "Man, that is good." Thanks for being so transparent and real.
Hi
I see it's been a long while since you've posted. Everything ok?
Hugs,
Pam
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