Cuttin those ol' apron strings...

My "baby" turned 20 this year... We have two older children who have moved out one at a time, but we always had one more to go... He moved out for about 3 months and then decided he wanted to come home and save some money so he has been living here the last few months. There are high points and low points. The high points being when he calls me before midnight to let me know where he is... the low being he leaves messes around the house and does not take reminders to clean them up very willingly, at least not within my expected time frame. Then I get the look of exasperation which says...I'm not a kid anymore, stop treating me like one! It's that kid/grown-up merge that comes to all of us. A time when it seems there are just too many adults in the house...too many bosses. We all want our own way. And then we know the change is just around the corner. They have their own opinions and way of doing things, as it should be. But at first that is a little hard to take. It's a bit like stretching. When you stretch the way you always do, it happens with ease, but when you stretch something new it can be painful. You don't have that freedom of movement you were expecting and yet if you keep working at it eventually you get there. It's the moment when you know your job description as a parent has changed.

The fact is that you pray for their salvation and safety when they're young and you are there to guide them along. Then when they're grown you do the same yet there is a new level of adrenaline coursing through your veins. The control factor is missing. Emotions that have come over me have ranged from out and out panic to fear and desperation, to dependence and ultimately surrender to God and you wrap each "kid" in a hug and tell them you love them and will try to support their decisions.

I wonder how our Father (God) must feel about us when we decide we are all grown up and pull away. I believe it is painful for Him too. The difference I see is that He never actually controlled us...we have always had freedom of choice but there is still that separation thing.

Everything eventually comes full circle. This process is really just part of the human condition. I am no different than my kids. I still pull away and I want things done my way...only I should know better cuz I'm REALLY grown up-(I said grown up, not old):)

I thank God for his patience with me and count on the promise that He will fill my cup to overflowing. I pray that as my kids are morphing into who they will become some will still splash out of my cup onto them, those sweet, sassy, kind, compassionate, opinionated, stress inducing wonderful 3 kiddos whom I love with a fierceness unmatched by any other. They are an extension of my husband and me, truly a part of us, walking around making their mark on this world. Why would we think they should be any different? At this point I can only daily give them up to God and hope that they have ears that will hear.

"What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation--a toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God;

I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it together with his people.

When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him.

Oh, God, here I am, your servant, your faithful servant: set me free for your service! I'm ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God. I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it in Jerusalem, God's city.

Hallelujah!" Psalm 116:12-19 The Message Bible

The Shepherd...

"I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me. In the same way, the Father knows me and I know the Father. I put the sheep before myself, sacrificing myself if necessary. You need to know that I have other sheep in addition to those in this pen. I need to gather and bring them, too. They'll also recognize my voice. Then it will be one flock, one Shepherd. This is why the Father loves me: because I freely lay down my life. And so I am free to take it up again. No one takes it from me. I lay it down of my own free will. I have the right to lay it down; I also have the right to take it up again. I received this authority personally from my Father." John 10:14-18 The Message Bible

Another cool painting by the Jesus painter.

Gettin Clean...

Today as I was staining the deck I was thinking about how much preparation it took just to get it to the point of applying the stain. Kinda funny to think of cleaning something up only to turn around and "stain" it...Hmmm... back to the cleaning part. Here are the steps that we had to take to prep...Sweep, take a big nail and flick all the maple helicopters and dog hair,etc... out from between the cracks, (alot of little details). Next mix up a smelly bleach solution and using a scrub brush on our hands and knees scrub all the algae and mildew off. Bear in mind our deck is surrounded by a picket fence too, also covered in 'green'...(alot of scrubbing). Then rinse with clean water and let dry. My knees were raw for about 4 days after that. Did I mention that we have neglected our deck for the past 3 years? A few boards even have some dry rot. Not a good practice when you live in the woods. The clean up was a great improvement but now it needed protection even more. The wood was completely exposed; bare. If left to it's own defenses, it would probably make it through another winter, but would suffer with the passage of time. It got me thinking about how really dirty we all are. We neglect the prep process because we are always in such a hurry to get to the next 'thing'... We procrastinate on some of the most important things, spiritual and physical because we think they take too much time. And besides, they can wait, there's always tomorrow. If you own a home there is constantly some kind of upkeep project on a list somewhere, but it's more fun to go ---fill in the blank---. I can be a great procrastinator when those "projects" cut in on my hooking time. But today as I was pondering cleaning and prepping it got me thinking of a parrallel between that and what God does for us. As we put things off...bible study and spending time in prayer, we are wandering away from Him. He is the one who makes us clean so as we step away we start to get dirty. As we stay away we get filthy, maybe even some dry rot sets in. Our protector is held at bay. At first we don't notice it, you know, you had a really good study time and you've drawn it out, used it and made it last for a good two months and all of a sudden you realize your cup is empty...Things just don't seem right, the lightness has gone out of your step. You find yourself standing ankle deep in the mud and there is some algae growing on your elbows. I am so guilty of this! When I think of the prep job Jesus went through to make a way to clean us up my raw red knees are nothing by comparison. We have it made as far as the spiritual laudromat goes. The cost for us has already been paid and now it's up to us to do our part, meaning making sure we first accept the fact that we can't get clean on our own and then get back in touch with God. He actually covers us with the stain of His sacrafice so I guess that "stain" concept wasn't so bizarre after all, although HIS stain is in place at all times and doesn't fade with wear. You might think this whole post is a bit too 'out there', sort of oversimplifying God's greatness. That's not my intent... Sometimes I just have these little sparks that hit me and feel compelled to share. If only my knees were raw due to time spent in prayer to an everlasting God who is ready to receive us at all times.

"And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:21-25 The Message Bible

Lion of Judah...

"Do not weep! See, the LION of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David has triumphed..." Rev 5:5 NIV bible

This is an antique rug I am replicating. It is one of a grouping that I hope to offer in a catalog of primitive patterns this Fall.

Lion rug detail. Wool, #8 strips, Linen backing.

Change is gonna come...

I recently read a wonderful blog posted by artist Pamella Warden (check out her post at faithfolk.blogspot.com for more). It had so much insight about how God views our creativity but what really stood out to me at the time was "We grow in the valleys, it has been said, not on the bright mountaintops." For me this means that when we go through trials, actually go THROUGH them, not just let them happen to us as if we are powerless, we are CHANGED by the experience. I think it is ironic how I don't like change, but at the same time there are many things and ways about myself that I don't care for. God has promised HIS presence when we face TRIALS and said that we can have VICTORY over them. 'Trial' according to Rogets Thesaurus says is "A state of pain or anguish that tests one's resiliency and character." And then goes on to list these synonyms- each with their own set of meanings-
adversity, affliction, agony, analysis, anguish, attempt, CALVARY,case, contest, crucible, demonstration, endeavor, essay, evidence, examination, experiment, hardship, hearing, inquiry, misfortune, ordeal, pain, probation, proceedings, stab, struggle, suffering, test, trial, tribulation, trouble, try, visitation, woe.
By contrast, the word VICTORY is defined as "the ultimate and decisive superiority in ANY battle or contest". Some synonyms for Victory are:
achievement-final accomplishment of something noteworthy, after much effort and often in spite of obstacles and discouragements; flourish: bloom-a flourishing healthy condition; the time or period of greatest beauty. conquest, mastery, ovation, subjugation, success, superiority, supremacy, triumph-conquer, trophy, win.
The MESSAGE bible says in James 1:2- "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." And James 1:12 "Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life."
I have just started reading a book by Kathy Freston called "Quantum Wellness". I am just in the first chapter and it is interesting. Not being familiar with Kathy's spiritual lean I offer her insight only as an encouragement with the belief that whether she credits her insight to the Creator God or not, I believe all TRUE wisdom comes from GOD. I am encouraged by her example of what quantum wellness means in relation to change...that it is not instantaneous, but rather a succession of little movements towards the goal that affect a change. I believe that God desires for us to stay on the path ever towards HIM and I think if HE showed up right this minute, rather than drag our feet we would literally RUN to HIM without hesitation. But for now if we just keep up those little movements ever in HIS direction, under HIS direction towards the changes that HE has in store for us, HE will not disappoint. And remember- "Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing! Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven--healed inside and out." James 5:13-15 The MESSAGE bible.

By His Wounds...

I just found godtube.com and came across this video. A real inspiration for sharing your creativity for the Master. Enjoy...
(Be sure to push pause on my music playlist before starting the video.)

Come Near to God...

Prayer rug is 30x36, wool strips #8 and 9, rayon velvet,
cotton velveteen.

Prayer rug detail 1

Prayer rug detail 2

I was inspired in several ways while designing this prayer rug. There was a young woman attending my church. She was so joyful during worship, always raising her hands and basically dancing. It was awesome. I would love to be so uninhibited. Other inspirations were rug hooking artists Rebecca Knudsen and Deanne Fitzpatrick and painter Gustav Klimt. I love the way he uses color and geometric shapes, mixing them with the human figure. When I designed this rug I was at a place in my life when I just felt I needed more color around me. The loss of my mother was almost 2 years behind me and it was time to express my hope for the future. This rug is meant to be a self portrait. My hands are raised to heaven in praise to God who comforts us in the dark times and promises hope in spite of heart-ache. Usually when I am color planning I choose muted somewhat drab colors. This rug is overflowing with bright, vibrant colors so you can’t help but see them. They are meant to extend the invitation that life is beautiful and good. And as the scripture says, “Come near to God and He will come near to you.” James 4:8
This rug began in Santa Fe, New Mexico at a rug hooking retreat. The design expresses how I feel on the inside. I began hooking this rug in April and my goal was to finish it by the first of October for our annual rug show. I had the dress and the face and arms done, but procrastinated on finishing it until one week before the show. Then I started hooking like mad. It was so amazing. I literally felt inspired. The original design idea had a golden background with a sun in the upper right corner. During the course of that week I totally changed how I was going to do the sky. I hooked day and night with a little sleep in between. It just flowed out of me. I couldn't believe the energy I was feeling. It truly was a blessing to create. I feel that God worked it out through me. I have always had a special feeling for things hand made. When you create something, especially for someone else, many feelings go into it. Some stem from your natural inner emotions and others are fueled by events occurring in your life. Fears, frustrations, sorrow, joy, elation, etc...all go into the piece at hand. I sometimes ponder, “If this rug, (quilt, etc...) could speak it would have such a story to tell...” It takes the frustration without pushing back and it soaks up tears without a word. It absorbs the loving feelings you have at the time. All that, and then you pass it on to someone else, truly giving away a little of yourself, but also having taken something too. It's a beautiful thing. I believe that our Creator made us in His image to be creative. There are innumerable facets to this concept. They include creativity in every aspect of life whether you are an artist with paints; practice the art of care giving; or readying your home to receive guests. Being creative brings joy and healing in many ways. I thank God for creativity. XOXO<>