The fact is that you pray for their salvation and safety when they're young and you are there to guide them along. Then when they're grown you do the same yet there is a new level of adrenaline coursing through your veins. The control factor is missing. Emotions that have come over me have ranged from out and out panic to fear and desperation, to dependence and ultimately surrender to God and you wrap each "kid" in a hug and tell them you love them and will try to support their decisions.
I wonder how our Father (God) must feel about us when we decide we are all grown up and pull away. I believe it is painful for Him too. The difference I see is that He never actually controlled us...we have always had freedom of choice but there is still that separation thing.
Everything eventually comes full circle. This process is really just part of the human condition. I am no different than my kids. I still pull away and I want things done my way...only I should know better cuz I'm REALLY grown up-(I said grown up, not old):)
I thank God for his patience with me and count on the promise that He will fill my cup to overflowing. I pray that as my kids are morphing into who they will become some will still splash out of my cup onto them, those sweet, sassy, kind, compassionate, opinionated, stress inducing wonderful 3 kiddos whom I love with a fierceness unmatched by any other. They are an extension of my husband and me, truly a part of us, walking around making their mark on this world. Why would we think they should be any different? At this point I can only daily give them up to God and hope that they have ears that will hear.
"What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation--a toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God;
I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it together with his people.
When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him.
Oh, God, here I am, your servant, your faithful servant: set me free for your service! I'm ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God. I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it in Jerusalem, God's city.
Hallelujah!" Psalm 116:12-19 The Message Bible